My domain expired and I had some trouble getting it put to rights for a few days.

You thought my .com was gone forever.

You were oh so wrong.

thelongbrake.com :: Inconsistently Consistent Since 2005

I’m good at lots of stuff. Like consistency.

I know I said I’d post once a day while I’m in Ireland, but traveling writing isn’t as good without photographs, and right now there’s a glitch in uploading photographs to my blog.

As soon as I can get it fixed, I’ll start writing. There’s already so much to show. Andtell.

Yesterday I was with my friend Talitha outside school on Elliott Avenue. We decided to head down to Pike Place Market to get a sandwich for lunch. It was raining a little so I asked her if I could throw my bag in her car, which was parked right outside the school’s front door. I tossed it in the front seat, she locked it, and we left to walk the 10 minutes down a few blocks to Pike Place.

Lunch was delicious. I had some local chocolate milk. Happiness in a small bottle.

Talitha and I left the market and started walking back to school. When we got to the corner of Elliott and Wall we were met by Molly, who works for the school and is, in my own opinion, the Secretary of Keeping It Real. This title is not all inclusive, but I believe it fits her well.

As we were walking Molly asked “Do either of you own a Volvo parked out front with Texas plates?”

I thought to myself No. Thank goodness. That is never a good question to be asked.

“Yes. I do,” Talitha replied.

“Someone broke into your car.”

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I ran down to her car to discover a smashed window and a lack of my backpack in the front seat. The backpack included my MacBook Pro (with all of my school papers, photograph files, music files, etc.), Nikon D80, iPod, film, two text books, bible, checkbook, credit card information, and a photograph of my mother that I always carry with me.

I fell down to the ground angry; angry at myself for stupidly leaving it in plain sight in the front seat, and angry at I don’t know what. Maybe God. Maybe the thief. Maybe injustice. Who knows. I was at a loss.

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As I tried to process everything that happened, everything that was stolen, I found myself at a frustrating crossroads. I am always talking about how having less is having more, and the fact that the most content people I’ve ever met always have the least amount of physical possessions. And now here I find myself with a lot less than I had yesterday. I am down to my car and my clothes and the room I have just begun to rent here in Seattle.

It’s frustrating. Do I adhere to my own convictions and proclamations?

Yesterday I lost physical possessions, which I suppose were never really mine. But I would say that yesterday I gained more than I lost.

I’ll unpack that statement.

-My wonderful friends Jarrod and Taran told me that they have a computer I could borrow and a camera (the exact camera I had) I could use to fulfill a few freelance photography projects I have. Their gift was a sacrifice on their part. I couldn’t believe it.

-I got numerous emails from Mars Hill staff and students, including from the president of our school, who has much more important things to do rather than be emailing students (but, as it were, his priorities have been made known), and they have all offered to help however they could. My hermeneutics professor, Dwight, was incredibly gracious.

-Molly, who I mentioned earlier, cared for me like a mother would and had tremendous compassion. She could have said It’s only stuff or something along those lines, but she only knelt down with me and whispered I am so, so sorry. She also helped with getting me phone numbers to call and actions to take with the police. I am indebted to her.

-So many of my new friends here at school came around me. No one tried to minimize the loss. They were all so compassionate. I barely know these people and yet they care for me as if I am family.

I am in the right place. If being in Seattle at Mars Hill means losing all my things then so be it. I have gained more than I have lost. I believe that it is true that less is more. To lose is to gain.

I am wrestling with the need of a computer and a camera because they contribute to writing papers for school and income from my freelance photography work. All in all I lost about $5,000 in gear.

There’s a possibility that I may have a small site built to sell photographs for maybe $10 a piece. Hopefully I can make enough to purchase another computer and camera so I can continue to take photographs. But if that doesn’t happen then so it is. Tomorrow will still come.

I have shelter, food, and clothing. I have community. I have what I need.

———————————-

Last night I was walking home from the bus stop on the top of Capital Hill. I was praying to God and I said that if I could have anything back out of that backpack that I’d want the photograph of my mother. The other items in the bag are replaceable, but the photograph was not, and it is priceless to me. It’s the only thing I asked to have back.

This morning I opened my Moleskine journal and the photograph fell out. I don’t remember taking it out of my bible and putting it in the journal, but apparently I did at some point. I wept I was so glad.

I am convinced that it is true. The less you have, the better off you are.

No, Bear. No. Please don’t do this to me.

And now I find myself face with all kinds of questions regarding the ethics of The Discovery Channel and Man Vs. Wild. I wonder if I’ll continue to watch one of my absolute favorite shows on television.

thelongbrake.com — the less you have, the less that can be stolen

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I enjoy this little web space very much. I have met numerous people that I probably would not have met otherwise. I love reading the conversations that happen in the comment sections. I like having a place to write down the mess that is my brain. It’s also nice to have a bit of room to put up some photographs.

I like it here.

I don’t like it when people steal from me. It’s not kind.

This site is hosted on a server by my friend Jake in Rhode Island, which oddly enough isn’t even an island. I’m not one to judge. The server gives me stats of where people are from geographically who read this site, what site they came from, and a whole list of other goodies that I have little use for, like your IP address or what you ate for dinner last night. It’s very impressive.

I check these stats every so often (way too often) and yesterday I found a MySpace page that had a link to thelongbrake.com. I always check new sites which I don’t recognize that link here, so I clicked on it.

I did not find a link.

But I did find a photograph of mine that was being used as the background for his page:

(Let’s not discuss the cons and cons of MySpace. What beautiful design though.)

Now I like to think that I’m a fairly generous person when it comes to using my photographs. All I ask is that people ask permission and that they simply link back to where they got the photograph. Not very difficult. This person, however, did not ask nor link back.

Boooooooo.

And on top of that, he hotlinked me. Essentially he stole the web address of where the photo was hosted on my server and entered that info into his MySpace (Tom is not my friend) backend, thus stealing bandwidth from me and from Jake.

Boooooooo.

But, by stealing my bandwidth, he also gave me some access to his silly little MySpace. This was a terrible mistake. If you’re going to steal from me, you should do it more anonymously. And with more taste. Like Danny Ocean.

So what am I to do with this bit of access to his MySpace profile?

Bunnies!

My favorite part is that now you get bunnies and The Bloodhound Gang obnoxiously playing when you open the page.

Yaaaaaaaaaay.

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Much thanks to Jake for his magical CSS knowledge. If you are in need of some design or web hosting, then I highly recommend him.

Jake: “It looks like the bunny is sniffing the M&M, or the M&M is picking the bunny’s nose.”

I fully believe that when I enter the age to come that God is going to make me an explorer. He’s obviously a creator by nature, and creators never cease to create, so I think it’s safe to say that God has got some good creating to do. New lands to be explored. New mountains to climb. New rivers to forge. New dysentery to get while forging said river, sinking, and then your ox dies of chlamydia.

Stupid Oregon Trail.

I also think I will be a connoisseur of all things cheese.

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There are 3 things I have learned as of late while I’ve been traveling. I’d like to share them with you.

1.) Sickness Is Inevitable. I refuse to travel in fear. If I’m going to enter into a culture, especially a 3rd world country, then I cannot be afraid of getting sick. Viruses will happen. I am bound to become ill. The other week in Mexico I was walking around the village meeting new people and taking photos of kids. At one house a woman brought out homemade popsicles for us that she had made with Ziplock baggies, ice, and some sort of berry flavoring. When she handed it to me I thought to myself This water is going to make me very, very sick. But I ate it. I didn’t have to eat it, but I wanted to. I wanted to thank her for her very generous gift. And later that week, as I knew would happen, I got extremely ill and ended up doing things in an outhouse that should be illegal. Details = unnecessary. But I will say this: if you can go into an outhouse and actually make it worse then before you had gone in, then kudos. I know your pain.

It’s also possible that I got sick from one of the kids, but if that’s the case then I’ll take that sickness. If holding a fatherless child is going to make me sick then give it to me. I’ll take it every single time. If it ends my life then I would still say that it was worth that moment. It is impossible to enter into it without taking risks. But if I live without risks then I die while I live, and I do not see that as an option.

2.) Put The Camera Down. Before I can ever take a photograph of another person, they have to know that I value them more than myself and most definitely more than my camera. There have been numerous times where I’ve missed incredible shots because I was playing with kids or talking to natives, but I miss out on so much if I only view life through a viewfinder. I miss conversations with locals and fútbol games with kids and the smiles of the mothers who watch me as I fumble with whatever language it is that I am humbly attempting. Also, if I don’t put the camera down, then it doesn’t give a child the chance to shoot their first Polaroid or see their exposure on an LCD display on the back of my Nikon digital. They also need to hear what the shutter release sounds like on an old manual 3(5)mm SLR. If I’ve always got the camera to my own eye then it means that it’s not on their eyes, and I’ve found that they very often take much better photographs than I could ever take.

3.) Home Is A Fluid Concept. I love my family very much and I feel an attachment to Indiana that is probably a bit unhealthy, but home is where I am. Some people are made to plant in one place. Others are made to move. I am the latter. I have discovered that I can feel just at home in my sleeping sack as I can in my bed. I like living out of a backpack more than I like living out of a dresser. When my stuff is on my back then I always tend to live on less, and I’ve found this to be a better way to live. I do love being with my family and close friends, but I believe that it is true for me that home is wherever God takes me today. Life is a very eternal thing, and I think this will stay true throughout time and past it.

(The sign says not to throw trash in the creek. It’s been a bit dry apparently.)

I’ve been working on the links today for your visual enjoyment. I hope you like it.

I have an odd tension with organization. My room is always a mess. My car is always dirty. I rarely wear clean clothes. I am rarely clean in general.

But when it comes to photography/design/music/Apple/et cetera, I like to keep it clean and simple. Everything is very precise. I hate iPhoto so I have begun to look through all of my photographs to throw out some and file the rest on external drives.

All that to say, I like to have my links in a row.

There are multiple websites that I check every day and throughout the day. I have tried to include a few of those on the side. Look through them. Enjoy.

If you’re linked on the side and you don’t like the image I’ve put up then please email me another image to use.

If I stole an image from you, I’m sorry. Kind of.

(If you’ve got sites you check daily/weekly, I’d love to know what they are.)

***Links, as a whole, DO NOT MATTER. I was talking to my not-real-friend Anne yesterday and she was telling me that she doesn’t have links on her site because it simply caused too much trouble. People gave her a terrible time about not being on there or being taken down at some point. I completely understand where she is coming from and I think she’s probably onto something there. I link things on the side because I either have a personal connection with them or simply because I enjoy them. They could, and very well may, change. Right now Daley has a link with a photo of Avril Lavigne because he has an unhealthy love for the Canadian and he secretly hopes that she’ll come and take him away to be hers and hers alone. Carlos is on the sidebar with his silly helmet. Tomorrow I may decide that Daley has to be removed because it’s just weird how much he likes Avril, or Carlos needs to go away because he’s wearing a silly helmet. It simply does not matter. If I replaced Carlos with another link, he would not shun me. He would not hate me. He would not tell people to never visit my site. I can promise you that nothing would happen except that he would send me some sort of email/text/IM telling me sarcastically that he didn’t want to be there anyway. And then we’d proceed to plan how we’re going to meet up in California in August and how he’s going to let me stay at his house and eat his food and let me play in his band on that Sunday that I’m there at his local gathering.

My relationship with my not-real-friend (yet) Carlos does not hang on a link.

Links come and go. They mean nothing. This site is simply a blog. My value as a person is not determined by my blog or whether or not you have a link to my site. Links are meant to be fun and enjoyable for all. If you’re up there right now, you might not be tomorrow. It’s not about status. It’s not about getting traffic to your site. It’s simply a list of things I am currently enjoying. The links might not be here tomorrow. I might not be here tomorrow. Maybe I’ll just go and delete myself.

So there.

Grrrrrrrr!!!! Or something.

The other day I was at St. Vincent’s Thrift in Fort Fun and I noticed that they had about 100+ old suitcases for $1 each. This is a deal that cannot be refused.

You ask, “What would one ever do with an old suitcase?”

Such a silly, silly question you ask.

1.) Reenact your (read:my) favorite scene from Joe vs. The Volcano. (I’ll be Tom, you can be Meg.)

2.) Make a sled. (Via _ _ _ _ _enship.)

3.) Take photographs in a field.

4.) Travel.

5.) Turn it into a computer/camera case of happiness.

Enter Brad, stage left.

Brad works with me at our church gathering. He does tech. I do music. We get along well.

Brad is one of those people who can do/fix/create absolutely anything. He also happens to know everyone. Even you.

I bought the vintage Starline suitcase and took it to Brad and said, “You think we (read: you) can fill this thing high quality foam, cut out some spaces, and make a camera/computer case?”

“Yes,” said Brad without looking away from his computer.

“Do you know where I can get some high quality foam?” I asked.

“My neighbor works for FoamEx,” Brad said, as if that was completely normal.

“Of course he does, Brad. Of course he does.”

And thus it began…

As you can see, I’m doing lots of work.

Someone had to take pictures.

Then Brad went to work with a Dremel that night. I went to pick it up this morning.

Viola.

I had to pick and choose what I wanted to put in the case. The apropos use of space is vital. This is what I decided simply had to be with me when I go to a shoot, or to the market.

Nikon D80
2 lenses
MacBook Pro
Multiple pockets for power cords
Moleskine + pen
Mini tripod
Extra memory cards
External flash unit
Lens caps/filters
iPod/headphones
multiple adapters and cords

*space for optional can of Coca-Cola Classic (although not-so-optional in my mind)

Incidentally, if you happen to see me strolling into a cafe with a random suitcase, please, please don’t steal it. I’m going to start carrying around a similar suitcase at times filled with typhoid and old Who’s the Boss? episodes. That way you’ll never know which one to steal, and you’ll be so scared of Tony Danza that you won’t risk it.

The other day while wearing this t-shirt I walked into a coffee shop and stated loudly “I’m a pastor!” It was one of the best moments of my life.

And right now you’re asking yourself Is he serious or is this a joke?

Oh the tension.

*The eyes of Daniel Hines (6 foot, 165 lbs.) of 9932 Shadow Lake Lane, Fort Wayne, Indiana 46835 who can be reached at 260.486.2740 have been blacked out to protect his identity.

(warning: a bit of sarcasm ahead. if you do not take to sarcasm much then please go here. you will find peace.)

and we’re off.

ºthe time i spent at [isn't she beautiful?] was insightful and filled with rest. it’s interesting because usually i don’t really enjoy large conferences (the bigger the group, the more introverted i become). also, christian conferences tend to be filled with people wearing t-shirts that make me throw up a little bit in my mouth. minor issue. this conference, to my delight, was surprisingly different. i found the people who attended to be really down to earth. people came up to me at random to converse, asking where i was from and why i was sitting alone. it was nice. also a few people came up and said, “hey, aren’t you that guy from the internet?” to which i replied, “that’s a bit vague and kind of scary”. it ended up that a few people who submitted photos to the i am the church project were there as well as a few people who somehow or another got to this site. (hello vineyard in cincinnati. hello mercy house in anderson. hello county line in auburn. hello brad pitt…..you know this site is your homepage, brad). here were a few of my takeaways from the conference:

>>the Church, in my opinion, for the most part exists for the world outside its walls. it’s not about getting people to our gig w/ flash and flare, but it’s about being Jesus to the world, to our community, and to our families. mars hill is refreshingly simple. it’s obvious that they are not trying to get people in the doors with their programs and flyers and lights. quite the contrary. they are getting people in the doors because they are loving people, both in their city and around the world.

>>rob bell is tall.

>>there are no limits on creativity. i’m going to fail. it’s inevitable. the real failure would be in not trying because of a fear of failure. so i’m going to try. i’m going to get back into my songwriting. i’m going to try new styles of photography. i’m going to write more and edit a bit less (a bit).

>>i’ve read on the internets that some people didn’t like the conference because it was so simple in its presentation. if you went to [isn't she beautiful?] to be entertained then you missed the point and probably shouldn’t have gone in the first place. someone could have used your seat. booya.

ºevery time i try to ford the freaking river i get herpes or chlamydia or a serious rash. one time my stupid raft got constipation and decided that it had had enough. how apropos i thought as i sank in the middle of the river. stupid oregon trail.

ºi can’t wait for every season that isn’t winter. i went to wash my car the other day at one of those self-serve car washes. a.) my hand froze to the handle and b.) the water, the very second it hit my car, turned to ice. seriously. i basically shot ice at my car. when i turned the knob on the machine from ’soap’ to ‘rinse’, the machine, in much the same way as my raft, got constipation and died. awesome. i was left with a car covered in frozen soap.

ºi have xm radio. it’s the best radio. ever. sometimes i listen to the pop stations to see what the kids are listening to these days. usually those stations are playing justin timberlake or justin timberlake or justin timberlake or nickleback or justin timberlake. sometimes they play justin timberlake, which is refreshing after so much justin timberlake. but the other day i turned it on and there was a beautiful melody in my ears. it was beyonce. it was surprisingly wonderful and not-too-catchy so that i’d wake up the next morning singing it and want to tear my ears off. and i found out that yes, i am not irreplaceable, and i’m ok with that.

to the left. to the left.