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Regarding Voicemail Greetings

July 23rd, 2009

In response to the previous post, Josué sent me this email:

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While you were at it, you should have curtailed long messages from the recipient. The last thing I need are instructions on how to leave a voicemail. Example:

“This is So and So…” No shit, that’s who I’m trying to call. “Sorry I missed your call…” No you’re not, you patronizing ass. “Leave me a message after the beep” Really? Because I’ve been talking this whole time and was gonna stop when I heard the beep. “I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.” Another lie. “Have a great day and salutations.” WHEN CAN I LEAVE A MESSAGE?

And then the AT&T lady has to tell me how to leave a message, AGAIN. Or gives me instructions to page them!!! What is this 1994? I hate the future we’ve built.

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1.) Josué obviously has some anger issues.
2.) If you email me something ridiculous, and this goes for everyone, I will absolutely put it on the internet, especially if it says, “By the way, please don’t put this on your blog.” Automatic.
3.) To all of you who called and left long, pointless voicemail messages on my phone after reading the previous post: stop it. You think you’re so witty. Haha I’m totally going to call Longbrake and leave him a message JUST LIKE THE ONES HE DESCRIBED. Oh it’ll be absolutely hilarious. False. You’re lame attempt at humor will be combatted with my vengeance, which will most likely involve you coming home to anywhere between 6-12 chickens running around in your swank apartment, pooping, and eating everything in your refrigerator which I accidentally left open after taking home the food that caught my eye.

9 Responses to “Regarding Voicemail Greetings”

  1. erin @ July 23rd, 2009 at 10:30 pm:

    I think this is my favorite Longbrake post ever. Seriously. Laughing.

  2. Ryan @ July 24th, 2009 at 12:59 am:

    I agree with erin. Classic Longbrake.

  3. Bryan @ July 24th, 2009 at 1:50 am:

    Sounds like you have an anger problem. You wrote about it. What did you expect?

  4. john chandler @ July 24th, 2009 at 4:41 pm:

    there are so many rules in the world of longbrake

  5. aubrey @ July 25th, 2009 at 12:08 pm:

    like I said, screwed.

  6. Peter @ July 26th, 2009 at 1:10 am:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=caoYdiq3kak

  7. Lisa @ July 31st, 2009 at 1:49 pm:

    so so much laughing. Before I read #1 I was already saying that to myself, and by the time I was reading about the chickens pooping my daughter was yelling form the other room “what, what, what’s so funny?!” Loved it, every word.

  8. Birgit-Kaas @ September 9th, 2009 at 7:36 pm:

    I cannot believe this will work!

  9. Bill Bartmann- @ September 22nd, 2009 at 9:12 pm:

    FYI…..Plaxico Burress The NFL Footbal Player Begins Prison Sentence Today!
    Not that I have anything against the guy but finally these athletes might start to get it….You CAN’T just do anything you want and get away with it. If I get caught with a gun, I would have to do time too.

    Just my 2 cents…..