Regarding Voicemail Etiquette
July 22nd, 2009Standing on soapbox, megaphone in hand, years of abused voicemail use in mind.
People of the mobile world! Listen to my cry!
This is Joshua. Leave a message. *Beep*
And there it is. A blank canvas for you to say what you want to say, and I’ve even asked you to do so! So yes, you have the right. But my friends, do not abuse such rights. If abused, I am much more likely to ignore calls, and even beyond that, to ignore voicemail messages altogether. And I’ll do it, too. You don’t even need to tempt me. It’s easy peasy, and I even feel good doing it.
One of the main reasons I don’t like voicemail is that anybody can add to your to-do list without asking you. You can leave a message with a request, and the person on the other end is expected to listen and respond to some manner, and if they don’t then they look like a criminal. It’s the same with email, but that’s another soapbox session entirely. Facebook held the same dynamic. DELETED. Away with your walls, endless event invites, and no, I don’t want to take your stupid quiz or pay money to send you a badge or widget or whatever they are called.
So, voicemail. Amazing how Facebook can derail me with rage.
This is my own voicemail etiquette, and while you are in no way obligated to abide by it, I at least ask you to consider the following:
• If I’m calling to catch up or to say hi, and I don’t need a returned call, I don’t leave a voicemail. You’ve seen that I called, and you have the option to call back or not. Either way, there is no real need for a voicemail.
• If I’m calling to talk to you about something rather involved or lengthy, and I get your voicemail, I’ll leave a short message saying, Hey. It’s Longbrake. Got something to talk to you about. Call me when you can. xoxo. What is unacceptable is to leave a long voicemail with some of the pertinent information and then say Call me back when you can after having already explained half of the data. Then when the call is returned I’ll probably hear all of it again with some additional information attached at some point. There is no need for this friends.
• If I’m calling and I have some information to tell you, I’ll leave a longer message for you which doesn’t require you to call me back, and at the end I’ll say That’s all of it. No need to call me back. All information has been transmitted. No further phone action is required.
• If I’m calling to say I love you, then I’ll most likely just sing the song I Just Called To Say I Love You by Stevie Wonder, and while I’m singing I’ll probably do my very best Stevie Wonder impersonation. It doesn’t matter who is sitting around me. Sunglasses on. Air piano at my finger tips. Torso swaying to the beauty of 1984. Stevie deserves that and so do you.
Let’s summarize:
• Just calling to catch up? No voicemail needed. They’ll most likely call you back.
• Need to talk to the person about something lengthy? Leave a brief voicemail asking for them to call you back.
• Can you transmit all information in one voicemail? Leave one, and then let the person know they don’t need to return the call.
• Calling to say I love you? You know what to do.
I feel better. Thanks.
What does it say about me that I now want to call you a leave 100 obnoxious voicemails?
Help me.
Also, I was wondering if you could donate some money to my badge.
That’s a good story, grandpa.
here’s the flaws that I see: If someone’s phone is turned off, because they’re sleeping, at work, in church, at a play, who knows- then missed calls do not appear. So as long as you don’t care if people know you called, then the no voicemail thing is fine.
But as for bullet point number 2- that’s actually one of my hugest pet peeves- if someone leaves a message saying, “hey, call me back when you can” I feel held hostage because they’ve given no indicator as to what its about. Now I should clarify that usually the messages I receive don’t say “call me when you can” but rather, “call me when you get this”. I HATE THIS! It feels like a threat and demand and makes me want to punch things. I prefer some context as to what the needs for phone talk are so that i can prioritize when/if to call. Also- I don’t like people that much, so all phone calls traumatize me to some extent, if that wasn’t obvious by what I just wrote. :) Call me :)
i have anxiety around leaving voicemails/ stating needs. just call me back if i call. okgreatthanks.
I agree with Ki - I hate not knowing if someone is called to invite me to a party, or to beg a favor, or to yell at me. Tell people why you called!
If this was facebook, ,I would’ve pushed the “like” button at the end of explanation. ;)
… so what about text messages?
i don’t think we can be friends…
what I really hate, since there’s a rant theme here, is when you’re with people in real life and someone calls, and you answer, expecting that if they’re calling you, rather than texting you, it’s something important that they need to tell you immediately, and then they spend a ridiculous amount of time saying absolutely nothing, and you can’t hardly even figure out why they called, and in the meantime you’re being rude because the person on the phone is blahblahblahing away and you’re missing out on the real-life conversation/interaction. Text messages let you know, immediately and briefly, what the person wants, and gives you the option to call, ignore, text back, or postpone communication.
Although a good post (as usual) and some of these things needed to be said, I think it’s also important to pick your battles. Voicemail just isn’t one of mine. If people call, great. If they don’t, OK. If they leave a message, cool. I’ll get back to them when/if I can/want to. If not, OK also. If they get riled up, that’s their deal, not mine. If my phone’s off and I can’t see that they called and won’t ever know about the missed opportunity to talk to some one through a machine–eh, there have been worse things in the world.
Disclaimer: In the past, stuff like this would have bothered me a lot. Maybe I’m just in a phase where feeling disconnected from peripheral relationships doesn’t seem like that big of a deal. Some of my friends beg to differ, but regardless, it’s where I’m at.
real good.
although, i may exchange stevie for van singing “have i told you lately that i love you?”.
but to each his own.
:D
you would have hated pagers. 1996.
today I was told that the government is hiding some hidden agenda and research regarding how cell phones influence mouth cancer.
we’re all screwed.
Etiquette. Something that escapes the average American. I do believe I’ll adopt a few of these.
“i just called to say i love you” was my absolute favorite song as a kid. i used to cry with excitement every time it came on the radio. no kidding.
i hate talking on the phone.
just an amen.
and, a haha.