stirrings
November 11th, 2006
it’s easy to ignore stirrings in my soul.
and i’ve found it to be true that whenever i feel God nudging me to do something, it’s typically very awkward and uncomfortable. rarely, if ever, is it easy. i’m still waiting for God to say, “Joshua. Go. Buy as many tacos from Taco Bell as you can afford. Eat. Watch Scrubs on TiVo. Enjoy.”
is it odd that God has this sort of caveman vernacular in my head? just me? ok.
fort wayne, indiana isn’t exactly the most scenic place to live. i’m not complaining, because i do love it here. it’s just that i also love mountains and clean rivers and trails that run from georgia to maine and girls who know how to build their own fires. it’s an attractive quality, i admit.
so i take what i can get. fort wayne has a path called the river greenway that stretches about 21 miles (hardly georgia to maine) through the city. i drive out to it to go running as often as i can. it’s a very peaceful place with lots of families on bikes and runners and walkers and old men holding the hands of old women. it’s lovely.
i was running on the greenway yesterday working through my teaching in my head. i don’t listen to music when i run because then i can’t think, and my times of running are my times to clear my head and process thoughts. so, i got about halfway through my run when i passed an elderly gentleman sitting on a park bench with a really large walking sticks. first of all, i think walking sticks are neat. secondly, i wear velcro shoes almost every day during the winter, so i can relate on at least one level to people of that generation who simply don’t see the need to tie their shoes. i understand completely. extra work? who needs it. i’ve got enough to do already.
i waved to the man as i ran by. he smiled and waved back. that’s when it hit me.
————————
turn around.
what? no. no. i’m in a good stride. i don’t even know that guy.
turn around.
this is just silly. no. it would be awkward and i don’t even have anything to say.
turn arou…
fine. but if i do this then i get tacos tonight.
————————
i turned and ran back to the man sitting down on the bench.
good weather today, isn’t it? i said to the stranger.
oh yes. why yes it is. these days come few and far between this time of year. i really love all of the……
the next 20 or so minutes were filled with charles telling me all about his job, his passion for the outdoors, his time in the navy, how he walks this 6 miles stretch every other day or so. it was brilliant. rather, he was brilliant. nothing profound happened. no miraculous conversion occurred out there on the greenway. i didn’t draw a chasm with a bridge and a cross and writing the word sin in the chasm. i simply listened. he told stories. that was it.
and i could tell that he needed it, too. it seemed as though charles had all of these things that he wanted to share but just didn’t have the opportunity to do so as often as he’d like.
i think that’s all there was to it that day. i don’t think there was some other agenda that i missed or didn’t fulfill. i think the agenda was love. that’s it. it may seem simple, to be me it’s so incredibly complex and intricate. it’s because of things like this in my recent past that i’ve begun to ask God to stir things within me more and more. i want those nudges. pulls. pushes. i want those things that can seemingly be awkward or uncomfortable at first, because i don’t believe that this kingdom is a kingdom of comfort and ease. i do believe that at times it can be hard and challenging. this circumstance mentioned above was not exactly very difficult, but the challenging thing was to overcome my insecurities and natural pull away from such instances. that’s the kingdom of which i am a part.
i also believe that it is a kingdom of tacos. and mac computers. because we all know that God uses a mac.
Tags: self
josh, great words. i can relate on so many levels to this conversation between God and myself. There are some homeless men I have gotten to know and talk to on occasion, though it needs to be more frequent. Their names are Jimmy, Tommy, Jonny and Jerry.
Interesting that their names are much like that of Jesus… it’s the double letter in each name that got me thinking about it. So, anytime I think about Jesus I try to think about the guys I know and need to talk to more and show some love to, because after all, Jesus loves them too and would be talking to them as often as He could.
thanks man… oh 4.08:35 - 26.2 miles!
e-
4:08:35 is a great time. congrats. i bet you really wanted to quit right around mile 18ish. good job on finishing.
Beautiful. That’s all I can say.
hey man, these are some good words.
so often i miss the time i hear god speak to me. it sucks when i miss it, but it happens.
just goes to show when we take the time to stop, rest, and hear god, he works through people like charles.
nice.
thanks dan.
taking a chance on people is risky, but it’s so worth it. get this:
there’s this house that i run by all the time that is out near where i live. every time i run by it i feel like i’m supposed to pray for that house, or rather the people there. and i’ve been telling God all the time th at if i ever see people outside that house that i’d be bold and run up and tell them that i’d been praying for them, even though i didn’t know why.
so then i saw a guy outside the other day when i was running by.
i did not want to go up to him. would he think i was nuts. but i told God i’d do it, so i ran up to him.
……
when he saw me jogging towards him, he looked down and the ground and walked straight into his house when i got about 10 feet from him.
i felt awesome.
i think God was laughing.
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what a great story of being quiet enough to listen to God to speak to you. and isn’t about people, after all? thanks for the reminder that every person has a story to share… if we are ever willing to take our eyes off of our own stories for a moment to listen. i needed to hear that.
however, you almost ruined the ending for me with your shameful plug. :)
you know, they need a spell checker on this thing. isn’t IT [as in kingdom living, following Jesus, whatever you wanna call it] about people. thats what i was trying to type but my key tapping got the better of me. blame it on the pc if you want, i can take it.
one will never know what was stirred by the conversation with this man. but i know by sharing it you have challenged and encouraged many other saints to listen to the prompting of the Spirit. sweet honesty.
Yes you are so right. God is an OSX user :)
Martin
PHOENIX ARIZONA
Oh dear! I am now that person who types comments on other people’s comments under the available place that the notorious blogspot calls “comments.” What is life coming to? Clearly it is coming down to “comments,” and “bloggers.”
I don’t hav emuch to say other than, I hate taco bell, I love that you place so much thought on the matter of “tying shoes,” and….I think God was laughing, and I know God has laughed at me too:-) What a grand feeling to be stirred by God and live in such immense joy!
You know who are some of my favorite to talk to? Older janitors. Talk about a different perspective on life. It’ll blow you away.
so ive been gone for the weekend and just catching up…nicely done..
seriously, i have those little moments also and more often than not i pass them by…this is encouraging to see the results….even if you didnt write sin on a chasm(HOW COULD YOU NOT DO THAT????? SINNER!) just kidding.(my sarcasm isnt as smooth as yours)
seriously, i just spoke at a high school retreat about obedience and i come home to have a slap in the face about my own disobedience….gotta love the way God works sometimes…
and i think he does use a mac also….and i hope they have those tacos in heaven too….and hot tea-not coffee…sorry man
anonymous-
i am proud to say that i was a janitor for 3 years. i wouldn’t call myself an “older janitor”, but i did have the velcro shoes to fit in as best as i could.
love it.
I can relate to that man. I was in the navy for 8 years and my own grown kids havn’t asked me what it was like. God gives us the gift to listen and it isn’t used enough. I agree if our reward is unlimited tacos count me in. btw I think that because God has an affinty for less than perfect people he must like the pc, because only He can make it work perfectly.
*disclaimer: if you had a myspace or facebook or something I wouldn’t use the comment box to get so off subject, but as you have none of the above, this is where I’ll tell you that I want to see you and I miss you.
(clearing throat)
Josh, I haven’t seen you in real life since February. What’s up with that? Who does that these days? My recommendation? You find some reason to come to Nashville during December or January, or you come to Lynchburg when I’m there. But really, I kind of think the Nashville option is better, b/c it’s just cooler there, and don’t you have some buddies there? What? No? They moved to random places? Crap. Well, then just come see me. I would buy you something from sheetz but we don’t have sheetz. I’ll buy you a taco though.
Friend, I love how the Lors is using around the WORLD with your blog, who would have thunk? WOW! I love reading your blog, you make my day.
I’m missing some longbrake.
if god uses a mac, then satan uses..
longbrake…you don’t know me, i’m a friend of john E nomad’s, but i loved your post and have to say you hit it right on.
i love old people and think we all should find ways to build them back into our busy lives.
rock on, LB, rock on.
:-)
Chutney S Masala
you know sir john! well then, you are a blessed human.
Aw, you’re making me blush.